As part of my in depth research into preparing these mutterings, I rewatched the Wallace and Gromit classic “A Grand Day Out” as my addled memory told me that the intrepid W+G had discovered on their lunar adventure (documented therein), that the moon was indeed made of cheese and that cheese was Wensleydale. However, dear readers, I have to report my recollection was false and the moon was not, in fact, made in the Pennine Highlands of Richmondshire, the home of today’s visitors. NASA confirmed its Roquefort.
So...I will begin instead by welcoming the players, supporters and officials of Wensleydale to our humble Hive this afternoon and trust that they had a pleasant journey down from Leyburn and surrounds. Here’s hoping for an enjoyable afternoon on and off the pitch and as ever, may the better team win.
Today should have been the start of the second half of the season, game 12 on our slate of 22 fixtures, but due to the inclement nature of things a couple of weeks back, we find ourselves one short of that mark. The fixture against Old Leodiensians will now be played over at their spot on Saturday 20th January.
However, today is still (sort of) the start of the second stanza of the season as we will now be playing teams we have already faced, which may at least gives a minor clue to what we might expect to see out on the old green stuff this afternoon.We travelled up to Leyburn on a glorious September afternoon and those of us on the old charabanc were slightly taken aback by the scenic and circuitous route “Drives” took us on. Indeed, the chap who greeted us at the gates to Wensleydale’s ground at Cawhkhill Park, stated that he had never seen a visitors’ bus arrive from that direction. Anyhoo, once we had disembarked from the vehicle, I think we were all very impressed with the clubhouse and even more so by the magnificent view across the Ure Valley to that big hill. Eeee, it were a big un. (Pen Hill, I think its called).
So, we lost that game up there in Leyburn and we can have no complaints as we were definitely second best on the afternoon, although the 52-14 scoreline may just be a tad more than we deserved. But that milk is spilled. We have a chance at redemption today.

The league table doesn’t get any easier to look at, but one small twinkle on our tree is that the Pythons played last time out and were given a slapped leg by Keighley to the tune of 39-5, which in effect gives us a game in hand on the Pythons with the same old eight points difference between us. Their next three fixtures are home against Old Rishi (today) Wensleydale away and then West Leeds at home to open the New Year.

If I can possibly keep all my digits crossed, could we possibly hope that the Pythons return from those three games is somewhere around 3 points or less? Over the same period, our fixtures after today’s tussle feature a Christmas Jolly to West Leeds and then a welcome to the New Year here at the Hive against Beverley. Those amongst our travelling horde who went to the Beverley game will know we shoulda/coulda won that one...so the reverse fixture must be a circle in the diary, optimistically marked.

If we can start to rein in HP, then in order to escape from the dreaded drop, we need to also overtake one of Rishi, Ull or Beverley. We got our pants severely pulled down by Rishi when we faced them here, chiefly because we let their Kiwi number ten celebrate Christmas early, but at least Beverley and ‘Ensians have to come here.

As there are a few sides who are very much of a muchness in this division this year, I believe that any team getting more than 35 league points will escape from the greasy pole and live to fight another season at this level. I will leave it to you and your view of our remaining fixtures to work out how the very devil we glean 31 more points from them, but at least we have 6 remaining at home. While we are looking at fixtures, here are today’s other tussles:
Salem v Beverley, Pythons v Old Rishworthian,Hullensians v Leodiensians, Pocklington v West Leeds, and Keighley v Wetherby.

I haven’t even mentioned it’s Judi Dench’s birthday. And it used to be Billy Bremner’s before he kicked his last shin in 97. And one for the ladies, Donny Osmond is 66 today...So what do I know the Bees side of the ledger?
I suppose away from the Egg Chasing, I should perhaps take this chance to counter in print some of the rumours that I have picked up about the imminent demise of the Club.
I know where some of this has begun, in that our Treasurer deliberately painted an “apocalyptic” vision of our finances at the AGM if everything went belly up from the income side and everyone and their Granny called in their debt simultaneously. This picture seems to have finally percolated through to the chattering classes, but unfortunately for the nudgers and winkers out there, this scenario did not occur. I am pleased to report that, to paraphrase Mark Twain, that reports of our demise have been greatly exaggerated, and we are still here. And will continue to be here.

I know that the very fact I have bothered to make this statement will convince those who want to believe it, that there must be some truth in the rumours by the very fact that I am denying them. I can say without fear of contradiction that our bank balance is healthy, the bar continues to trade as we expected and the money from the Festival last year definitely plugged the holes that were concerning our Treasurer.

So to continue with my burst of positivity, I can confirm that we are now in negotiations to stage the 2024 Bingley Music Festival here again. At this stage we know absolutely nothing about potential artists (or should that be artistes ) who will be performing, but we are moving along with contractual discussions in the background almost as I type this. The event should be scheduled for around the same time it has been recently, which is to say, the first week in August.
So in conclusion, can I ask, please, don’t believe what you might hear behind the Bike Sheds or even in the middle of Lidl. Just ask someone who knows...
2023/24 Page 6 of 8 Game 11
Bees v Wensleydale
We are also hoping to have a Beer Festival at the end of June, but as this is very much in the planning stage, there is absolutely nothing I can tell you about it, other than there will definitely be beer involved.
More immediately, and in fact, NEXT SUNDAY, 17th DECEMBER 2023, we have the small matter of the President’s Lunch taking place here at the Club.
Your President, Mr David Hemsley has been cajoling folk into booking their places for a number of weeks now and if you are fancying attending, please can you speak to Dave as soon as humanly possible. He will be on Presidential duty this afternoon, but will be delighted to hear from you.
So, you will have noticed by now that I have not included any team news in these perambulations. That is because I have not received any. I believe this afternoon will be Sam Bryan’s final home game for us before he jets off to NZ for a year or two. Please join me in wishing him all the very best for his time among the Mullets and the Sheep Worriers.

I do know today’s referee is David Downham. Please make him welcome and respect his decisions.
Next week we are at West Leeds. This is the final game before Xmas, so I feel it requires a Christmas Jumper. See you there.

Have a better one.

Pip pip