So, in preparing for this week’s hoo-har, I thought I would show I am hip to what’s happening and ask that nice AI chap about finding Jenny Lane in Baildon. “AI” (is that short for Alan?) guided me to “what 3 words” to find Baildon RUFC on the map, and the three words it returned were “Gusset: Crevice: Undercarriage”.

I checked this out on the relevant app and realised that AI was playing silly beggars with me. Unfortunately, Sister Immaculate Conception saw the three words I had written down and immediately confiscated my sharpest crayons and ordered extra calming medication in my Horlcks. But enough of my problems, here we are again, Week 6.

Indeed, it is Week 6 of the season. Our caravan of Spacehopper mounted cavaliers journey out from base camp having had a a couple of weeks to repair punctures and so on, so we step out from the tree line and prepare another assault on the sheer face of Sunshine Mountain.
Despite the odd bump along the way, we appear to be good value for our five wins from our five fixtures so far on the trail, and as the song goes, we remain with faces all a-aglow.

It hasn’t all been plain sailing in the five games so far, but overall, we have yet to face a sustained battering from the little windies which are known to blow across the Mountain at this time of year, and maybe our friends and neighbours from the top of the Moor might present our sternest test yet. (Baildon Moor not Ilkley Moor in case you were wondering).

In the corresponding fixture last season, Baildon gave us a thick ear to the tune of 48 points to three, a damn good hiding in anyone’s book. I think anyone who has watched us this season knows we are a different proposition this time around, but turning round that 48 points this afternoon will present a challenge of a different stripe. I am not giving away any of the secret sauce in saying that our defence has tightened up beyond all recognition and we have the best defensive record in the division.

Scrabbling about in the back of my Subbutteo collection, I found the Bees’ team sheet from that game at Jenny Lane last January and this is how we lined up:

1.Lewis Brook, 2. Mat Cochrane, 3. ZP Leadbeater, 4. Joe Daley, 5. Corey Spencer, 6. Sam Davison, 7. Dave Exley, 8. Jim Nicholas, 9. Ben Greaves, 10. Dom Walker, 11. Joe Priestley, 12. Bryn Adamson, 13. Adam Sutcliffe, 14. Aidan Hainsworth, 15. Curtis Hanson.

The Bees side for this week has been extensively published across social media, so you don’t need me to repeat it here. Our pack is very much as you might expect, although young Rob Woodhead is unavailable after his little “contretemps” against the Vandals. I have no idea whether it is player availability or a tactical decision that has caused Ali to name three more forwards on the bench. Is this our Legion of Boom?

But what of our opposition? After setting off this season at a decent gallop, with two wins from their opening fixtures, Baildon have lost their last three league games.

On 4th October, Baildon hosted Old Otliensians and came out second best by 40 points to 19. Obviously the Old Motley Crew are another of the unbeaten sides in Yorkshire Two this season, and that result might give those of us with a loyalty to the Hive an idea of how the top end of the division is shaping up as we head towards Crimble. We face the Motleyensians on 6th December at Wagon Lane, which should be one to underline in your best bookies pencil in the old diary.

But back to the fate of Baildon in recent weeks…on Saturday 11th October Baildon were just pipped on their home sod by a solitary point when facing Huddersfield Laund Hill in a 23-24 reversal. Unfortunately, due to a lack of info kicking about at this level of the league pyramid, I have no idea if the game was a knee trembler with the lead changing multiple times or if one side ran away with it and then took the foot off the gas.

Last time out, Baildon faced Bridlington over at the seaside, but luckily I ran into a man who has taken a vow of loudness, our very own Dale Martin, who bellowed a succinct match report across Bingley Main Street to me. Apparently Brid were second best and with about eight minutes to go were a good few points in arrears. The bucket and spade boys were then suddenly brought to life and rescued the victory in the last few plays and a plucky Baildon side were sent home on the wrong end of a 29-24 result.
Due to the vagaries of the season structure, we are not in action next week, 15th November, but return to Wagon Lane to host Huddersfield Laund Hill on 22nd November with a 2.15pm kick off.

The Laund Hill game will be prefaced with a wine-tasting lunch which is being organised by the President, Mr Tim Robinson. The Wine is supplied by Martinez. The lunch will kick off at 12 noon.