There was a story about would we have to change the rules of succession to the throne if a future queen chose not to have children by the conventional method, (the old missionary intervention), and conceived her children by another method. Aside from the legal niceties, I thought, now there is a job for me, Lord High Admiral of the Turkey Baster. Where do I apply?

In other news… we are off to see the new owners of Follyfoot this Saturday and in recognition of this, the tune that has become my ear worm this last week is the “Lightning Tree” by the Settlers, which reached number 36 in 1971 on the back of it being used as the theme tune to the popular children’s drama, “Follyfoot”, which bored me and my mates silly for three long years in the early seventies. I hope someone at the Gate can play the tune as the teams run out on Saturday, the game needs an overture, don’t you think?

There are only three fixtures for me to muck about with this week, so I have limited opportunities to charge off at a tangent as we meander our merry way down the stream of consciousness.

Get on with it, you say, so I do.

Birkenhead Park host Sandal this Saturday in a game which they have to take some points to keep their pursuit of our tail feathers alive. If we take nothing from our game with Betty Follyfoot, but BP fail to eek anything out of Wakefield’s finest then we remain locked as we are before our clash at Wagon Lane, next Saturday. However, if BP can pinch a couple (or more) from Sandal and we come away with a doughnut, then it gets a bit interesting next week as BP have five games to chip our 12 point advantage away. However, before I take a leap into the cut, I have every faith that Sandal will do right by us and extend their winning run into a fifteenth game.

On first inspection, Sandal’s away record is not overly fantabulous. They have six wins from their 10 road trips, scoring an average of just under 23 points a pop. This scoring return almost exactly matches Birkenhead’s home performance, where they have also scored about 23 a game. If it was all so easy, this might suggest we will see a 23 points apiece draw on the weekend, but that would be plain silly. As that bloke who used to rustle about in your sock drawer might have said: “let’s consider the evidence”:

On the road Sandal have conceded 149 points, making them the most effective team defensively in the division away from home and if we discount the early season shellacking they took at Chester, then they have only conceded 109 points in their other 9 away trips, an average of about 12 points per game. Co-incidentally, Sandal are also the most adept defensively at home, where they have also leaked 149 points, over their 11 home fixtures. Sandal’s points scoring on the road has not been blistering since they trampled on Kendal by 46 points to 7 a few weeks back, but they do keep winning. Birkenhead have won three on their own patch, putting The Bees, Kendal and Rossendale away, but they have not beaten a side in the top half of the table this season. Sandal to win, but it may well turn out to be closer than expected.

Chester face Percy Park at Chester. Although Chester have lost three in their last seven games, they have only lost once at Hare Lane this season, where they are rattling points in at approaching 50 per game and have not failed to score less than 30 in any fixture at home. Percy Park have fallen off the horse somewhat in recent weeks, and although they can point to a good win at Billingham recently, and they did beat Harrogate at North Yorkshire’s finest housing development, they have had a good run of home games recently but still kept losing; their last four home games have only yielded 17, 8,9 and 11 points and their home record of 6 wins in 11 has really let them down. Their record on the road is better than their home returns as they have claimed 6 wins, but have a higher points scored away from their home sod than in the confines of their own parka.

Chester to win comfortably you would have to say, wouldn’t you think?
Finally, we find the elephant in the room, the bustle in your hedgerow, the big feature, the Bees at Harrogate…

The Gate: winners of 9 from 10 at home, a point shy of 400 on their home patch this season, eight wins on the trot.

Cant Wait.

See You There.

Scoop.

Below: Scrum Time!! Will The Bees scrum be as dominant this weekend, as they were in the fixture at Wagon Lane earlier in the season.